Addiction Recovery Program

   In the last 3 months the church has produced a catalog of short serie documents to help raise awareness and resources in the aid of addictions. As of last week I've joined the LDS Recovery Addiction Program. My boyfriend ordered the workbook for me as a gift to help get me started. Now I don't suffer from the more commonly known addictions such as drugs, alcohol, or sex related trials. I struggle with something just as debilitating that isn't really spoken of but hinders every part of my life.

I'm addicted to poor thought patterns that are causing me to suffer beyond my own capacity. Boyd K. Packer of the 12 apostles wrote, "Addiction has the capacity to disconnect the human will and nullify moral agency." What I'm dealing with is a bondage that affects my behaviors and causes me to have emotional cravings that are not aligned with the Gospel. These patterns HARM my social, emotional, and spiritual well being.

The stories we tell ourselves are the most important line of thinking we do on this earth. Due to the stories I have told myself I have conditioned my thoughts to make me feel like many things in this life are threats and that's just how life will be because it is my trial to bear. As I've gotten older and tried to be in relationships I have struggled with feeling connected or aligned with the most important to date . On a daily basis I feel stressed, I can't manage my emotions, I have depression, I find faults, I'm quick to anger, and most of all I'm tied with negative thinking that makes me feel mountains of guilt. I wrote down on Thursday all the emotions I have on a daily basis and what I realized is no matter how active and faithful and service oriented I am in the church, Heavenly Father must feel so sad that his daughter deals with so much pain and anguish. I know that if I were to sit and talk with him he would ask me, "Kristina, my dearest daughter, why have you put yourself through so much hurt, when I gifted you with a Savior who could heal all of your pain? Wasn't my plan of happiness something we both wanted?"

Since opening and studying and pondering this manual I feel saved. Not healed and rid of all my poor thought patterns but truly pacified and accounted for. I know even after 2 simple days with the ARP in the near future I'm going to be healed.

Now, many people reading this may be skeptic and think that this excitement for future healing is just in the moment because it's new and different and that surely it will lose it's shine. But what's amazingly different is the day I opened the book and began to study my mind was opened to truths about my life I had never considered and I was visited by the Holy ghost and given confirmation about these principles as well. When I had my enlightenment I went through a whole first day feeling like someone took the 30 pound bag of rocks I was carrying off of my back. In the following days that have passed, in exploring my new insight, I feel as if I've had the administration of angels walking with me. When I've tried to articulate the way my mind is working now compared to before I can't find words. The words I try to use don't convey the miracle that's occurring. There aren't words sufficient enough to explain the progress that's being made mentally and the mercy i'm being granted spiritually.  I feel like I've been trying to jam all different types of keys into a very specific locket and nothing has worked until now. Now I have a key that fits and i have access to a new opening.

Most of all I feel very very close to God and The Savior. It is my hope that every member of the church can one day open this manual and have personal study. I don't even feel like the ARP should be only for people with  addictions. This program should be an outline of how to come closer to the Savior. We are here in the life to prove ourselves worthy and become like Jesus Christ. Next to the Book of Mormon, these teachings can change your life and prove that any change that's desired is possible.

I testify of Father in heaven who loves his children so much, he not only gave us The savior, but a comforter in the form of the Holy Ghost, a Prophet, the Priesthood, the Sacrament and a historical book filled with teachings on how to have joy and be of worth to return to live with out families in heaven. I say all of these sacred truths with a filled heart in the name of Jesus Christ, The Redeemer of All, Amen.


To learn more because you know your curious: https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/?lang=eng